Thursday 22 November 2012

Arg Notes #14: 45 Minutes

Simpleng mga numero.    

45 Minutes.

Ang average na empleyado ay tinatamad na magtrabaho kapag 45 minutes na bago ang uwian.

Hanggang 45 minutes ka lang makakapaghintay (ng walang ginagawang libangan), kapag lumampas dun, bubugnutin ka na , magwawala, or tatakuting iiwan mo nalang o mauuna ka nalang kesa sa hinihintay mo.

Sa loob ng lunch break, 15 minutes ka lang halos kakain, yung 45 minutes - kwentuhan/ chickahan / o tsismisan

Kapag heart broken ka, minimum of 45 minutes ka pa bago makatulog , dahil I'm sure magre-reminisce ka pa ng walang kwentang nakaraan nyo.

45 minutes ka lang makakakanta sa videoke sa labas, kapag lumagpas sa timelimit, magrereklamo na ang mga kapit bahay sayo. PS. 20 minutes kapag pangit ang boses mo

Kapag 45 minutes na at hindi pa nagrereply ang crush mo, mag isip isip ka na, either nakatulog yun, enjoy katext ang iba, o kinalimutan ka ng replyan dahil sino ka ba?

Kapag inabot ka ng 45 minutes at hindi ka pa nakakabalik, papagalitan ka na, lalo na't pinapabili ka lang naman ng suka sa kanto.






Arg Notes #13: AMALAYER

11 22 12

As much as I want to show other people the "moved on" part of my life, I can't help but to stare at the mirror and tell my self  everything's a lie. A big one. This is the sad part of reality and for doing the right thing like what the majority is telling me. It kills me. I've been consumed by anger  and as far as I know, this not me. Hatred is what now runs in my blood. Motivated by the mere presence of the one I used to love and even till now - but sadly to say the biggest regret of my life. I am not contented of what I've become. This is so not me. God has placed His angels behind me - to protect me from other hurts in life and hold me in times of uncontrolled anger and murder thoughts.

I can kill now. I can kill myself. -but most of all, I wish to kill every bit of emotions I still have. I want to live in the world where bitterness and pain is not a part of life. I wish to see people having never ending smiles and happiness throughout their lifetime.

Dream world.

Someday, I would challenge myself to face the truth - that there were things I've held so much before that now made me regret everything. The clouds are whispering goodbyes and yet I held on to the rope and climbed the mountain of fools gold. Such a stupid jerk.

It's time to face the truth.

Everything was a lie.

Thursday 15 November 2012

Arg Notes #12 : Kaibigan

11 16 12

Salamat sa mga kaibigan. Sa bawat tawa't ligaya, lungkot ng tropa, at sa bawat isang nawawalan nang pagasa, hindi man halata pero andyan sila at nakikiramay pa. Minsan inaasar ka, pero sa likod nun ay ang motibong paligayahin ka. Iba't iba ang korte ng katawan, mula gasul hanggang bewang ng baka. Puro chicks at mayroon naring gwapo. Lahat kami ay tinatawag na panalo. Panalo sa pagiging sawi at frustrated sa nakaraan. Ilang taon ang pinaglipasan, ilang galon ang iniyakan. Pero hindi dito nagtatapos ang buhay naming magkakaibigan, simula palang yan ng tropang kulitan. Kurot sa tagiliran, hampas ng bag na sinimulan, lahat ito nagsimula sa tropang napagiwanan ng pagmamahalan.  Pipigilan ang bawat pagpatak ng iyong luha. Papalitan ng kilig at saya na kahit kay Mario Maurer hindi mo makikita. Anu man ang napagdaanan, isang kilong paperworks man, taob yan kapag nagpatawa na sila. Makakalimutan mo ang mga lungkot na sa pag-uwi mo'y abala. Andyan sila kasama ka. Magkakaibang department man, pero iisa ang diwa at pagasa.

#tropangsawi



Tuesday 6 November 2012

Arg Notes #11: What to thank God for.

Junior Youth Fellowship

 My heart melts every time I see the faces of these young people. As a young leader striving to serve the kingdom of his beloved master, hardships and trials is inevitable - and yet God has been so faithful to bless me strength and divine encouragements.
Discipleship Group 2
Discipleship Group 1

I am the youth leader of these kids and young teens and to be honest - it's an honor to serve my Master with this ministry.

In the absence of partnerships and needed encouragements, I am still standing and surviving in order to lead this heavenly troops.

If you're a youth worker, a bible study group leader, or in any kind of ministry inside the church - and you feel like giving up,  think why the devil is giving that much effort to pressure and discourage you. You have the heart of a leader. God has chosen you and the growth of His kingdom depends on your ability to entrust your life on his faithfulness and grace.

Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Psalm 9:9 The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 23:4  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;  your rod and your staff,  they comfort me.

Psalm 55:22  Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

Matthew 11:28-29 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Arg Notes #10: WALANG BAGO

110612

Nauubusan na ako ng salita para ipaliwanag ang bawat yugto ng
mga pangyayari sa akin ngayon. Mabuti pa dati na iisang tao
lang ang mundong ginagalawan ko. Kulang ang isang galon ng
tinta ng bolpen para ipaliwanag kung bakit siya ang pangalang
tinitibok ng aking puso. Ang corny, oo alam ko.

Mahirap na pala ngayon, buti pa ang mga pulitiko kahit
nakaupo lang sa pwesto, yumayaman at kumakalat ang pangalan.
Ang Maynilad, puro pangakong malapit na matapos ang lubak ng
ginagawa nilang pipelines pero hanggang ngayon wala parin.
Kelan nga ba dadaloy ang ginhawa? Asa ka pa. Sa 2015 pa yun.

Ang hirap ng walang ginagawa sa trabaho (sa ngayon, baka
sabihin mo ang sarap ng buhay ko). Buong araw sa akin
pabalik-balik ang dilim ng nakalipas. Isa ba itong sumpa na
kailangan lunasan? Sinubukan ko naman kumain ng isang pakete
ng Chocnut, pero wala parin naging talab.

Siguro kahit iumpog ko ang ulo ko sa pader hanggang sa magiba
ito, wala parin mangyayari para mabura ang bawat detalye ng
pagibig sa isipan ko. Ang hirap nga naman ng kalagayan ko.
Kung sana paghiwa-hiwalayin ko nalang ang sangkap ng 3-in-1
na Kape, mas kakayanin ko pa.

Magjojogging ako mamaya, asa pa. Dalawang oras na byahe pauwe
tpos kakain ka pa. Wag na magpanggap. Matulog ka nalang.
Isang walang kwentang routine. Yan ang nakakapagod. Wala bang
bago?

Hindi ba pwede na uuwi ako sakay ng limousine tpos diretso sa
bahay sa tabi ng dagat. Pag baba ko ng sasakyan, naka ready
na ang aking mga taga massage at nakaready narin ang
pistachio Ice cream ko. Oh diba. Yan ang the best.

Pero wala eh. Kaylangan talagang umuwi ng gutom at pagod.

Walang bago.

Monday 5 November 2012

Arg Notes #9: Transformation Deficiency

110512

I find myself trapped in a deep ravine.
Too much risk has been taken.
My level of motivation is now degrading to its
blockade. I fear the shadows of my disgrace would eventually scatter my hopes away. I became my own fear. 

For months, I've been living in my own illusion and walking in the path of darkened rainbows. Who would thought that I will end up like this? Even the people are unaware of the storms and battles I've been facing. Their eyes are blinded
by the duality of my different persona. No one really knew
me. Arg, what an emotional nuisance. Stop the drama.

I just want to thank the Lord for not giving up on me. My
life has been a series of ups and downs. Majority of my life
as an adult (as of now) has been like the story of the
prodigal son. I've been walking in the path away from my
Father - and I consciously know that. Every step I take is a
heartache for my Father - and yet the Lord is there to remind
me that whatever I do, His open arms is there waiting for me
no matter what.

I have come to a point in my life that I just want to give up
- give up myself. This life has become so tiring that I can't
enjoy every single second despite the blessings God's still
pouring on me. I hate to see myself living in a lie. I hate
to see what I've become now. I want and I definetely need to
go back to God.

Whatever your doing, pause for a moment and think if it's worth it.

You cannot bring back the time that you've wasted.