Arg Notes #32: Ano ang mga bagay na hirap kang bitawan?

042913

Sorry if this post will be in Tagalog. Just to explain and elaborate things more accurately :s

Arg Notes #31: The Epic Announcement

It's a cold Sunday morning. I was assigned to be the MC for the Church service program that day. Mar 14, 2013. This day was I think one of the worst day of my life - to the extremes of lying to myself that I'm ok, contented, and far worst - happy with what's gonna happen. On that comin week, Jessica was scheduled to go to US unfortunately. Then here I am, the proud young guy, filling himself up with lied emotions and peculiar feelings.
I stood there in the stage announcing every birthday greetings and announcement and hollah - I almost forgot to announce this one. Good thing my uncle handed this note in the middle of my announcement.

For years I continuously resisted my feelings for her. I hated her for taking me for granted. I hated who have she become - and I can't do anything about it. It's her choice. I've made up my mind. Looking at her or even talking to her would only make me hate her more. This rage can only be healed by the test of time. My unconditional love for her has been clouded with hate and regrets.
Well there's only one to blame - it's my self.
I stood in the stage with crunching legs and a hoardy voice as I
announced her departure in a few days. I looked at her with no
feelings of blessings.

Goodbye and Goodluck - my heart whispered.
I may stop showing you how much you mean to me. Sorry for everything
but I have to choose my first love.

Discipleship Camp 2013 - Cabin 8

Believe it or not - this scanned piece of paper is an important memoirs of our recent DCamp2013. I took part of being a "counselor" for this activity and as expected, I was super blessed. For years I've been waiting to prove myself  useful in His kingdom. I want to show my friends and colleagues that I have the potential of being a "kuya" and also I had the leadership and teaching skills.

This paper was taken from my assigned cabin - Cabin 8. Every night I was tasked to visit them and lead the prayer time. Though we only had short times to talk with each others, I felt very close to them - not in age, but in the spiritual sense of "we wanna grow up". I can see myself 10 years ago in them. I was the active kid in the camp before. I liked basketball and mingling over group studies. I was interested in music rather than memorizing Bible verses. lol

I was moved and encouraged to strive harder in increasing my knowledge in God's word. I felt like God is telling me to "protect" the youth. I don't know if this is a God given vision or it's my semi proud mind that is only telling this to me.

I wanted to be a better person for this youth. I will live to protect them. This is my joy and my crown.

I am writing this post to be a reminder for myself - that I CAN FIND HAPPINESS  ONLY BY SERVING IN HIS KINGDOM.

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