March 12 ,2013
I don't know how to feel or what to expect from myself. This emotional catastrophe is lingering beneath my soul. I should end this.
I can't say I don't care or rather I don't love you anymore. I've made a choice of loving you no matter what and holding on to that till the end comes. But, please forgive me, I love God more than you. I can't please you while turning my priorities away from God. I decided to let you go because of the fact that we have different priorities in life. It is very evident that you can't enjoy me while I am serving the Lord.
We are different. Majority of your happiness is not based on God's work. That is the reason why we can't have a steady relationship. I tried to accept you and believe that I can change you to be a better person God wanted you to be - but I failed. You won't change. I know you tried, but you failed because you started to change yourself just because of me and not for the Lord. I don't hate you for choosing the world instead of me. I hate you because you took me for granted. I didn't use you or even saw you as a mere girlfriend material.
I loved you with all my heart. I dedicated my life helping you grow in Christ. I made sacrifices for you. I even rejected the wisdom of my parents and I did hold on to the fact that I love you and that's a period. Can't you see that?! I loved you more than everything! I planned for our future, our ministry, and what can we become. I treated you as a partner, that without you, I would be nothing. My future plans involves us. I don't consider myself successful without you by my side. That is how much you are important to me.
But I guess, everyone's right. I made a big mistake just like you. I've given you a choice, the world - or my guidance. You didn't choose me. I am very sorry for you.
I don't care how much you hated me too.
I know I loved you - and still loving you .
I can't even look and be mesmerized by other women besides you. The distance between us, the broken relationship, is nothing because I still love you. Deep within my soul I know this is true. I won't fool myself. This is me. The person you never knew.
I know there is no chance you can read this - or even understand what this post mean.
I waiting for the moment that you will have a paradigm shift. You'll be sorry, accept the things you have done, and repent.
You don't know what you are doing.
Good luck
I don't know how to feel or what to expect from myself. This emotional catastrophe is lingering beneath my soul. I should end this.
I can't say I don't care or rather I don't love you anymore. I've made a choice of loving you no matter what and holding on to that till the end comes. But, please forgive me, I love God more than you. I can't please you while turning my priorities away from God. I decided to let you go because of the fact that we have different priorities in life. It is very evident that you can't enjoy me while I am serving the Lord.
We are different. Majority of your happiness is not based on God's work. That is the reason why we can't have a steady relationship. I tried to accept you and believe that I can change you to be a better person God wanted you to be - but I failed. You won't change. I know you tried, but you failed because you started to change yourself just because of me and not for the Lord. I don't hate you for choosing the world instead of me. I hate you because you took me for granted. I didn't use you or even saw you as a mere girlfriend material.
I loved you with all my heart. I dedicated my life helping you grow in Christ. I made sacrifices for you. I even rejected the wisdom of my parents and I did hold on to the fact that I love you and that's a period. Can't you see that?! I loved you more than everything! I planned for our future, our ministry, and what can we become. I treated you as a partner, that without you, I would be nothing. My future plans involves us. I don't consider myself successful without you by my side. That is how much you are important to me.
But I guess, everyone's right. I made a big mistake just like you. I've given you a choice, the world - or my guidance. You didn't choose me. I am very sorry for you.
I don't care how much you hated me too.
I know I loved you - and still loving you .
I can't even look and be mesmerized by other women besides you. The distance between us, the broken relationship, is nothing because I still love you. Deep within my soul I know this is true. I won't fool myself. This is me. The person you never knew.
I know there is no chance you can read this - or even understand what this post mean.
I waiting for the moment that you will have a paradigm shift. You'll be sorry, accept the things you have done, and repent.
You don't know what you are doing.
Good luck
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