Arg Notes #37: The Lovelife Update

October 04, 2013

Monthsarry? Lol. Sorry guys I wasn't able to update this blog. It's not that my fingers are all broken or neither I gave up my hobby for blogging. I've been busy these past months and here's one of the reasons why...

Ang pangalawang kilig is the sweetest. A big harhar. I thought she is the one.
However, like most guys in my age, im very susceptible to Satan's army of cupids
attacking my romantic life or whatever you call that. It has been months of
hmmmm....mutual understanding? Like we're on the stage of getting to know each
and just been waiting for the right time to "officially" fall in love.
Everything is getting smooth - then it happened. The "moves" men or women
do toward their "I-dont-want-you-anymore" partners.

Kinda shocked coz naturally - I'm the one doing this kind of move to people who "like" me or worse to people who takes great efforts just to convey their obvious feelings toward me. LOL

I invested time, effort, assumed feelings? ROFL

Well, lesson learned. Good relationships starts from friendship. No assumed relationship or whatever. Don't overdo efforts just to make a girl to like you coz sooner at end of her infatuations, you'll be kicked of from her so called dreamland. She may want you today, but not tomorrow. She may want you tomorrow, not today. - or worse, she doesn't want you at all. She's just spending quality conversation with you because she's lonely and have no one to talk to. I dunno. I don't want to judge. But, this is what I feel so I guess I have to write these kind of experiences.

I thought she was the one I would spend the rest of my life - That's what I thought.

#breakitdown

Arg Notes #25: Don't know. Don't care.

013113 16:30

Have you ever felt being so concerned to someone to the point of literally giving up your life just for for her/her safety? It's the "I don't care about myself attitude". The other person is more important than anything else. Your actions - even your sacrifices - is for her own good, for her own comfort. Anything you do is for the purpose of putting a smile on her face. You cry when she cries. You smile when she smiles. Her happiness is the foundation of your joy and there's no other thing that can
make you feel happy besides her.

I am so used up on taking care of people who doesn't even acknowledge my efforts for them. I feel like I've been taking for granted with all the time and the energy that for so long

I've been giving them. They're just "there" because they needed something.Needing someone to talk to or whatever. When the time comes that they are now experiencing the "I am now alright" part of life. Boom. They're gone. They don't need you anymore.

Ofcourse I am writing with a negative spirit, so don't believe or even imitate what I am writing. This is only for my "I want-to-let-it-out" time.

These days I was forced to ignore the people I used to know - the people I used to care. Maybe it's now time to seek "new" people to care about. Start with someone new - or even new friends that will know you from the start.

I know ignoring "them" will be painful. However, this is for the better of both sides.

It's your choice to forget the things we shared. You're now enjoying your so-called oasis of life. Well sarcastically, I bid you good luck. I believe in miracles, but for you, that wouldn't be necessary. Don't worry. I don't hate you. I'm just developing new "feelings" for you. Not rejection or even hatred. There will come a time where we'll meet in both ends and I wouldn't even recognize who you are.

I did my part as you're kuya, your guardian, your love one,your whatever.

You did yours.

I don't know. I don't care.

I am sorry whoever you are. It's time to say good bye and let go of everything I care about you. You have forgotten who I am and all the things I did for you. Memories cannot be erased especially for me, but I will surely erase all my remaining feelings for you.

to all the people I used to care,

I am sorry. I don't know who you are. I don't care.




DISCLAIMER:

Yeah, I do realize and understand the meaning of this post. This is soooo not me.
Get thee away from me, Satan.

Ok now he's gone.

It is really hard to forgive - that's a fact and it is humanly. However, we all commit mistakes. We fail our Master everyday. We do stupid, illogical, and selfish decisions that makes Him go *facepalm*

Loving a person is also forgiving them.

I maybe disobedient most of the times and fail you in any way I can - but still you forgive me and still at my side.

Teach me how to forgive and be patient to the people surrounding me.

Teach me how to love like You do.

Arg Notes #21: Uchiha Sasuke

01 22 2013

People change because they wanted to. It's choice. Every decisions has its own outcome.
Good or bad. No matter how crazy it is, we do have end results. A person cannot stop changing either for the better or for the worst. I remember an anime character named Sasuke from the clan of Uchiha. He experienced his clan being slaughtered by his older brother Itachi. Being a child, he was consumed by guilt and revenge.

I know we are living in a world where we are taught to forgive and to forget - but there are some things that can't be easily erased by a mere sorry right?

Anger changes a person no matter how good it is. An unforgiving spirit is like a cursed seal inflicted upon you and there's no way you can get away with it.

Anger will change your destiny.
Rage will destroy it.

You have the option whether to fight for your future or let anger change you.

Sasuke Uchiha: [Flashback] My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I hate a lot of things and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan and destroy a certain somebody. And noe I finally arrived. 

"If you think I'm just a foolish kid ruled by his emotions, that's fine. Following Itachi's path would have been too childish, the whispering of fools who don't know hatred. If anyone else tries to ridicule the way I live, I'll slaughter everyone they ever cared about. And then maybe they'll understand what it's like to taste... a little of my hatred."

"Naruto... it's too late, nothing you can say will change me! I'm going to kill you and every last person in your beloved village! It's time to make your choice! Kill me and become a hero, or die at my hand and become another one of my victims!"

I have long since closed my eyes... My only goal is in the darkness."

Loves to blame

Loves To Blame

Time in Time I thought through it all
How we loved and loved
and how we fought each other
pushing one another
to be somebody else
and time in time for the rest of my thoughts
I certain if the end was right or wrong
and wether we so should be together with somebody else
a lost memory

she had water in her eyes
she cried stay with me
say how can this be loved
if you are leaving me
but darling love's to blame

and i can't see you right now
'cause my heart just can't take it
can't be near you right now
'cause i know you're no longer mine
I can't see you

it makes me ache that we had to break
even though i knew your heart so well
we're strangers in different places
thought we're livin mile apart
my best friends got my world as being soft
we'll never share a name of her be promed
but i will always remember the years we've spent in love


I still think of you
I pray that you were save
I'm still missing you
but it has to be this weakest
I'm not right for you
and that's why love's to blame




and i can't see you right now
'cause my heart just can't take it
can't be near you right now
'cause i know you're no longer mine
I can't see you right know
'cause my heart just can't fake it
can't be near you rigth now
cause I know you're no longer mine

and I can't see you
oh i can't see you
I just can't see you right now

But maybe time will heal the hearts
and maybe after time you'll understand
I take the darker side of me

and i can't see you right now
'cause my heart just can't take it
can't be near you right now
'cause i know you're no longer mine
and I can't see you right know
'cause my heart just can't fake it
can't be near you rigth now
cause I know you're no longer mine

and i can't see you
no, i can't see you
i just can't see you rigth now

no i can't see you
i just can't see you

i just can't see you right know
and love's to blame

Arg Notes #13: AMALAYER

11 22 12

As much as I want to show other people the "moved on" part of my life, I can't help but to stare at the mirror and tell my self  everything's a lie. A big one. This is the sad part of reality and for doing the right thing like what the majority is telling me. It kills me. I've been consumed by anger  and as far as I know, this not me. Hatred is what now runs in my blood. Motivated by the mere presence of the one I used to love and even till now - but sadly to say the biggest regret of my life. I am not contented of what I've become. This is so not me. God has placed His angels behind me - to protect me from other hurts in life and hold me in times of uncontrolled anger and murder thoughts.

I can kill now. I can kill myself. -but most of all, I wish to kill every bit of emotions I still have. I want to live in the world where bitterness and pain is not a part of life. I wish to see people having never ending smiles and happiness throughout their lifetime.

Dream world.

Someday, I would challenge myself to face the truth - that there were things I've held so much before that now made me regret everything. The clouds are whispering goodbyes and yet I held on to the rope and climbed the mountain of fools gold. Such a stupid jerk.

It's time to face the truth.

Everything was a lie.

Frozen Tears (A Poem)

Frozen Tears  
Feb 23rd, 2010 9:27am

Tears fall down from the weary heart
Waiting for the sky to set it right
Missed the times when all seems fine
Yet destined to be with someone I cant define.

Too much pain has been felt
Didn't lost heart but the smiles did melt
Distance made us part,
Your my destiny but you tear it all apart

Since everything has started to be gone
I'm still trying just to be your man