Arg Notes #25: Don't know. Don't care.

013113 16:30

Have you ever felt being so concerned to someone to the point of literally giving up your life just for for her/her safety? It's the "I don't care about myself attitude". The other person is more important than anything else. Your actions - even your sacrifices - is for her own good, for her own comfort. Anything you do is for the purpose of putting a smile on her face. You cry when she cries. You smile when she smiles. Her happiness is the foundation of your joy and there's no other thing that can
make you feel happy besides her.

I am so used up on taking care of people who doesn't even acknowledge my efforts for them. I feel like I've been taking for granted with all the time and the energy that for so long

I've been giving them. They're just "there" because they needed something.Needing someone to talk to or whatever. When the time comes that they are now experiencing the "I am now alright" part of life. Boom. They're gone. They don't need you anymore.

Ofcourse I am writing with a negative spirit, so don't believe or even imitate what I am writing. This is only for my "I want-to-let-it-out" time.

These days I was forced to ignore the people I used to know - the people I used to care. Maybe it's now time to seek "new" people to care about. Start with someone new - or even new friends that will know you from the start.

I know ignoring "them" will be painful. However, this is for the better of both sides.

It's your choice to forget the things we shared. You're now enjoying your so-called oasis of life. Well sarcastically, I bid you good luck. I believe in miracles, but for you, that wouldn't be necessary. Don't worry. I don't hate you. I'm just developing new "feelings" for you. Not rejection or even hatred. There will come a time where we'll meet in both ends and I wouldn't even recognize who you are.

I did my part as you're kuya, your guardian, your love one,your whatever.

You did yours.

I don't know. I don't care.

I am sorry whoever you are. It's time to say good bye and let go of everything I care about you. You have forgotten who I am and all the things I did for you. Memories cannot be erased especially for me, but I will surely erase all my remaining feelings for you.

to all the people I used to care,

I am sorry. I don't know who you are. I don't care.




DISCLAIMER:

Yeah, I do realize and understand the meaning of this post. This is soooo not me.
Get thee away from me, Satan.

Ok now he's gone.

It is really hard to forgive - that's a fact and it is humanly. However, we all commit mistakes. We fail our Master everyday. We do stupid, illogical, and selfish decisions that makes Him go *facepalm*

Loving a person is also forgiving them.

I maybe disobedient most of the times and fail you in any way I can - but still you forgive me and still at my side.

Teach me how to forgive and be patient to the people surrounding me.

Teach me how to love like You do.

How would you describe your girlfriend?

A girlfriend ( my own description ) *

My first and last girlfriend. 

Jan 2009

In someway, having a girl is just normal for every guy. Being single can be a curse,.. or can be a choice. Some last for years, some last for months, though some guys just luckily finds the right one for them-without even planning for it. The kind of girlfriend a guy has is just a mirror effect of his personality, the kind of man he is.

A relationship without trust is just a part-time happiness. Why? Because lack of trust results in doubt, and doubt gives us confusions- things you are not sure of and things from the borderline of reality.

However, a relationship that is carefully molded by time and founded by mere trust , is just a perfect relationship. Hard times is just a peck of strumbling block on every love story. It is the measurement of strength in which you can see how far both of you have gone. When you trust your partner, you are telling yourself-“oh, I dont care how many girls/boys will pass in his/her lifetime, Im sure I’ll always be the one”

A girl will always be special in her own way,-but a guy will too have his special way too be break her heart.

Im writing this on my own perspective. In a matter of time, I gained her trust. But sadly, when ones heart becomes too selfish, insensitivity becomes an issue, and neglegience becomes a problem. The time spent is lessened. Concern is weakend. And Love seems to be slowly fading- instead of showing it. The worst case is breaking up-or should I say wasting up all the efforts and all the oppurtunities just because you are doing the wrong way..and you are “being” the wrong man for that girl.

A girl must be treated MORE than a man. Why? because if you love her, you will treat her MORE THAN yourself. Therefore all actions, all choices you are making whether it is for yourself or not, is not against on your loyalty to your girl. A time spent is not a time wasted - when you spent it for your girl. Every choice you make- is what you are.

You dont leave a girl just because she seems so imperfect for you, you dont leave a girl because you just found a new one, you dont leave a girl just because she lacks time for you, you dont leave a girl just because she flirts around or make you happy all the time, you dont leave a girl just because you dont love her anymore.

..now Im telling you, you are leaving that girl because your crazy enough to forget all the good things that happened to both of you and all the times she made you feel “love”.

Once you tell a girl that you love her. You dont mean, “I love you..for now and later in our relationship I might just leave you..I dont know the reason but Im sure of it”…Because love is not bound by time or either hard times in every relationships.

You say “I love you” to a girl because you made that choice in your life that you’ll accept her whole being-you will love her as herself, and not just a part of herself.

You say “I love you” because you’ve decided that whether in hard times or special moments- you’ll endure that both and become an instrument for both of your maturity.

You say “I love you” to a girl because you agreed in yourself to be a partner, a lover, and be the one who can be available during the times when tears are flowing in her eyes.

You say “I love you” because you made a special choice to be with a girl for the rest of your life

There’s a reason why a girl meets a guy.

There’s no chances in every relationship.

There’s just choices. Good ones. and Crazy ones

*Note:

I've written this blog post almost 3 years ago on my Multipy blog account (but for some unexplainable reasons I can't access it anymore)