Arg Notes#16: 7th Year Anniversary

December 04, 2012

The year I saw one of the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. That one in a million that caught my attention. The smile that radiated beneath my soul. The girl who became my dream. The one I started loving beyond comparison.

No regrets.

Kahit sabihin pa ng karamihan na it's for my "own good" ang nangyari, masasabi ko parin na hindi sayang ang pagmamahal na binigay ko sa kanya - sa kadahilanan na ito ang nagturo sakin kung pano magmahal nang may kasabay na pagtulong at pagnanais na lumago ang isang tao. Ako rin mismo natuto ng totoong ibig sabihin ng sakripisyo. Hindi mo kayang magmahal ng tama kung walang sakripisyo. Wala na tayong magagawa pa para maibalik ang nakaraan. Natapos na at hindi tayo ang lumikha para maibalik ang nasirang pagsamahan.

Ito ang araw na pinakahihintay ko dati. Isa sa mga pagkakataon kung san maaari kong maipamalas kung gano ako mapagmahal at maarugang kabiyak ng kanyang puso. Araw kung saan sabay kaming magpapasalamat sa Diyos para sa kaniyang panibagong taon na binigay sa aming relasyon. Panahon kung saan pwede naming sariwain ang tamis ng pag-ibig.

Ito'y lahat ay naging bula.

Nung huling linggo, isang katanungan ang bumigla sa akin. "O, kamusta na kayo ni _____". "Uhm, matagal ma po kaming hiwalay", aking itinugon. "Pero, mahal mo parin ba?" Kaniyang itinanong.

"Opo ate, walang nagbago, ipagdasal nyo nalang po", bugtong hininga kong isinagot.

Mahal ko parin siya. Pitong taon na ang nakalipas hanggang ngayon. Ito ang tinatawag kong tunay na pag-ibig. Hindi hawak ng rason o kondisyon. Ito ay nakabase sa isang desisyon. Isang pag-ibig na Diyos ang sandigan. Isang samahan na ang kalakasan ay nasa pundar ng Diyos. Subalit, hindi lahat perpekto. Dumadating ang oras na nagiiba ang ating misyon sa buhay. Hanggat hindi iisa ang inyong layunin sa buhay, hindi kayo magiging masaya - magtitiisan lang kayo at hindi magiging maligaya.

May mga bagay talaga na wala sa atin ang kapalaran - na kahit isigaw mo sa langit ng pagkalakas lakas ay hindi mo rin makukuha. Tanging Siya lamang ang nakakaalam kung ano ang mga bagay na makakabuti at kung sino ang mga taong pipigil sayo para mabuhay ng kagamit-gamit sa kanyang kaharian. Masaklap, pero yan ang realidad.

Minsan ginusto mo rin talaga, kaya ka napapahamak. Tinitiis mo nalang hanggang sa dulo hanggang masugatan. Binibigay ang lahat kahit alam mong hindi sulit ang binibigyan. Kulang na kulang ang pag-ibig na iniipon mo. Yaan ang masaklap sa mundong ito. Hanggang sa mundo ka'y aayon, hinding hindi ka lalakad nag may kagalakan. Pag-ibig na salat lamang ang matatamo mo.Alam kong nagmahal ako ng totoo, pero hindi ako nagmahal ng tama.

Pero sa kabila ng aking poot at kagustuhang gumanti sa galit at dismaya, pag-ibig parin ang mangunguna sa pusong sugatan pero umiibig parin sa kanyang Manlilikha. Isang kwento ng pagibig - ang kanyang anak na namatay para sa akin, ito ang tanging dahilan kung bakit nakayanan kong magpatawad kahit halos wala na akong rason para bitawan ang galit kong ayaw maging mahinahon.

Sa lahat ng nagtatanong,

Oo, mahal ko parin siya, pero mas gugustuhin kong sa kaharian ng Diyos kami magkabalikan kung kaniya'y loloobin. Tinawag ako ng Diyos para sa mas makabuluhang gawain. Hindi lang prinsesa ang kailangan ko sa buhay kundi isang tao na makakasama ko sa gawain. Isang babae na mamahalin ko dahil sa kaniyang pagmamahal sa gawain ng Panginoon.

Maghihintay ako sa kaniyang pagbabago para sa Panginoon.

Kung hindi,








edi nganga.

lol

Arg Notes #15 : The B1G Challenge

Last Nov 23-25, I spent one of my most relaxing and fulfilled weekend in my life. My everyday life is spent on work and things that depletes me. I was tired physical, emotional, and spiritual - till then I joined this retreat. For me, rest is something you experience far away from your workplace and also let's say, your house. A new environment and meeting different kinds of people from different work areas are the main points that makes my stay worthwhile. Considering I am a socially inclined person, this retreat was a haven for me. I have so much to learn about life and this retreat I guess, would eventuallly transform this juvenile idiotic heart of mine.

Personally, my life was really a big challenge. I am stucked between to dead seas with no place to go but the narrow road. My back was full of burdens with no one else to carry with. Everything was plain and repetitive - yet God allowed me to experience this heaven-sent retreat. Amazed by the beauty of the place and of course the people surrounding me with different backgrounds and level of maturity. Aside from the complicated and yet well prepared program for the activities, I should also complement the facilitators who in spite of their different level of maturity, took the responsibility and the effort to reach out even the people who are much more matured than they are - and that's what I called really working for the Lord.

I went to the retreat with three of my closest friend; my sister, Dra. Lei, and Marvs. We started the groupings of almost a thousand attendees and that made me separated from their company. I was joined to a group of believers from CCF Alabang. Honestly, I was scared at first. Scared that I wouldn't meet their expectation or even their standard of living. Let's face it. I was born in an average family, not in a above-average one. But believe me, there are things that you can be proud of instead of money and worldly popularity - it is the knowledge and the wisdom you gain from the Bible.

The retreat's program was so good and inspiring that momentarily I forgot all my problems and bitterness in me. God indeed was there, of course. He was there to make me realize that the more closer to Him, more closer to the peace I was longing for the long time. I thank the Lord for all He showed me there. I was quite amazed by their passion for discipleship and how they prepare for each program.

God was telling me to step up. Leave my past behind. Forget the bitterness. Forgive the person. Follow Him.

If that's the case, committing suicide would be much more easier.

-but God is faithful despite everything that I've done stupid in the past. I will always be that prodigal son He was waiting  everyday to come back to Him. I can feel His grace everyday. His hands leading me to the right path though most of the times I argue and lean back to the wrong side of the road.
I'm blessed. Really


to be continued.

lack of time grr. 12/03/12

Arg Notes #14: 45 Minutes

Simpleng mga numero.    

45 Minutes.

Ang average na empleyado ay tinatamad na magtrabaho kapag 45 minutes na bago ang uwian.

Hanggang 45 minutes ka lang makakapaghintay (ng walang ginagawang libangan), kapag lumampas dun, bubugnutin ka na , magwawala, or tatakuting iiwan mo nalang o mauuna ka nalang kesa sa hinihintay mo.

Sa loob ng lunch break, 15 minutes ka lang halos kakain, yung 45 minutes - kwentuhan/ chickahan / o tsismisan

Kapag heart broken ka, minimum of 45 minutes ka pa bago makatulog , dahil I'm sure magre-reminisce ka pa ng walang kwentang nakaraan nyo.

45 minutes ka lang makakakanta sa videoke sa labas, kapag lumagpas sa timelimit, magrereklamo na ang mga kapit bahay sayo. PS. 20 minutes kapag pangit ang boses mo

Kapag 45 minutes na at hindi pa nagrereply ang crush mo, mag isip isip ka na, either nakatulog yun, enjoy katext ang iba, o kinalimutan ka ng replyan dahil sino ka ba?

Kapag inabot ka ng 45 minutes at hindi ka pa nakakabalik, papagalitan ka na, lalo na't pinapabili ka lang naman ng suka sa kanto.

Arg Notes #13: AMALAYER

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As much as I want to show other people the "moved on" part of my life, I can't help but to stare at the mirror and tell my self  everything's a lie. A big one. This is the sad part of reality and for doing the right thing like what the majority is telling me. It kills me. I've been consumed by anger  and as far as I know, this not me. Hatred is what now runs in my blood. Motivated by the mere presence of the one I used to love and even till now - but sadly to say the biggest regret of my life. I am not contented of what I've become. This is so not me. God has placed His angels behind me - to protect me from other hurts in life and hold me in times of uncontrolled anger and murder thoughts.

I can kill now. I can kill myself. -but most of all, I wish to kill every bit of emotions I still have. I want to live in the world where bitterness and pain is not a part of life. I wish to see people having never ending smiles and happiness throughout their lifetime.

Dream world.

Someday, I would challenge myself to face the truth - that there were things I've held so much before that now made me regret everything. The clouds are whispering goodbyes and yet I held on to the rope and climbed the mountain of fools gold. Such a stupid jerk.

It's time to face the truth.

Everything was a lie.

Arg Notes #12 : Kaibigan

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Salamat sa mga kaibigan. Sa bawat tawa't ligaya, lungkot ng tropa, at sa bawat isang nawawalan nang pagasa, hindi man halata pero andyan sila at nakikiramay pa. Minsan inaasar ka, pero sa likod nun ay ang motibong paligayahin ka. Iba't iba ang korte ng katawan, mula gasul hanggang bewang ng baka. Puro chicks at mayroon naring gwapo. Lahat kami ay tinatawag na panalo. Panalo sa pagiging sawi at frustrated sa nakaraan. Ilang taon ang pinaglipasan, ilang galon ang iniyakan. Pero hindi dito nagtatapos ang buhay naming magkakaibigan, simula palang yan ng tropang kulitan. Kurot sa tagiliran, hampas ng bag na sinimulan, lahat ito nagsimula sa tropang napagiwanan ng pagmamahalan.  Pipigilan ang bawat pagpatak ng iyong luha. Papalitan ng kilig at saya na kahit kay Mario Maurer hindi mo makikita. Anu man ang napagdaanan, isang kilong paperworks man, taob yan kapag nagpatawa na sila. Makakalimutan mo ang mga lungkot na sa pag-uwi mo'y abala. Andyan sila kasama ka. Magkakaibang department man, pero iisa ang diwa at pagasa.

#tropangsawi

Arg Notes #11: What to thank God for.

Junior Youth Fellowship

 My heart melts every time I see the faces of these young people. As a young leader striving to serve the kingdom of his beloved master, hardships and trials is inevitable - and yet God has been so faithful to bless me strength and divine encouragements.

Discipleship Group 2

Discipleship Group 1

I am the youth leader of these kids and young teens and to be honest - it's an honor to serve my Master with this ministry.

In the absence of partnerships and needed encouragements, I am still standing and surviving in order to lead this heavenly troops.

If you're a youth worker, a bible study group leader, or in any kind of ministry inside the church - and you feel like giving up,  think why the devil is giving that much effort to pressure and discourage you. You have the heart of a leader. God has chosen you and the growth of His kingdom depends on your ability to entrust your life on his faithfulness and grace.

Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Psalm 9:9 The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 23:4  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;  your rod and your staff,  they comfort me.

Psalm 55:22  Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

Matthew 11:28-29 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Arg Notes #10: WALANG BAGO

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Nauubusan na ako ng salita para ipaliwanag ang bawat yugto ng
mga pangyayari sa akin ngayon. Mabuti pa dati na iisang tao
lang ang mundong ginagalawan ko. Kulang ang isang galon ng
tinta ng bolpen para ipaliwanag kung bakit siya ang pangalang
tinitibok ng aking puso. Ang corny, oo alam ko.

Mahirap na pala ngayon, buti pa ang mga pulitiko kahit
nakaupo lang sa pwesto, yumayaman at kumakalat ang pangalan.
Ang Maynilad, puro pangakong malapit na matapos ang lubak ng
ginagawa nilang pipelines pero hanggang ngayon wala parin.
Kelan nga ba dadaloy ang ginhawa? Asa ka pa. Sa 2015 pa yun.

Ang hirap ng walang ginagawa sa trabaho (sa ngayon, baka
sabihin mo ang sarap ng buhay ko). Buong araw sa akin
pabalik-balik ang dilim ng nakalipas. Isa ba itong sumpa na
kailangan lunasan? Sinubukan ko naman kumain ng isang pakete
ng Chocnut, pero wala parin naging talab.

Siguro kahit iumpog ko ang ulo ko sa pader hanggang sa magiba
ito, wala parin mangyayari para mabura ang bawat detalye ng
pagibig sa isipan ko. Ang hirap nga naman ng kalagayan ko.
Kung sana paghiwa-hiwalayin ko nalang ang sangkap ng 3-in-1
na Kape, mas kakayanin ko pa.

Magjojogging ako mamaya, asa pa. Dalawang oras na byahe pauwe
tpos kakain ka pa. Wag na magpanggap. Matulog ka nalang.
Isang walang kwentang routine. Yan ang nakakapagod. Wala bang
bago?

Hindi ba pwede na uuwi ako sakay ng limousine tpos diretso sa
bahay sa tabi ng dagat. Pag baba ko ng sasakyan, naka ready
na ang aking mga taga massage at nakaready narin ang
pistachio Ice cream ko. Oh diba. Yan ang the best.

Pero wala eh. Kaylangan talagang umuwi ng gutom at pagod.

Walang bago.

Arg Notes #9: Transformation Deficiency

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I find myself trapped in a deep ravine.
Too much risk has been taken.
My level of motivation is now degrading to its
blockade. I fear the shadows of my disgrace would eventually scatter my hopes away. I became my own fear. 

For months, I've been living in my own illusion and walking in the path of darkened rainbows. Who would thought that I will end up like this? Even the people are unaware of the storms and battles I've been facing. Their eyes are blinded
by the duality of my different persona. No one really knew
me. Arg, what an emotional nuisance. Stop the drama.

I just want to thank the Lord for not giving up on me. My
life has been a series of ups and downs. Majority of my life
as an adult (as of now) has been like the story of the
prodigal son. I've been walking in the path away from my
Father - and I consciously know that. Every step I take is a
heartache for my Father - and yet the Lord is there to remind
me that whatever I do, His open arms is there waiting for me
no matter what.

I have come to a point in my life that I just want to give up
- give up myself. This life has become so tiring that I can't
enjoy every single second despite the blessings God's still
pouring on me. I hate to see myself living in a lie. I hate
to see what I've become now. I want and I definetely need to
go back to God.

Whatever your doing, pause for a moment and think if it's worth it.

You cannot bring back the time that you've wasted.

Hindi lahat (Part 1)

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Hindi lahat (Part 1)

Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto.
Hindi lahat ng alam mo ay alam din ng tao.
Hindi lahat ng kapos ay wala na talagang pera.
Hindi lahat ng nakasimangot ay may problema.
Hindi lahat ng kalbo ay magaling magbasketbol.
Hindi lahat ng inaantok ay puyat.
Hindi lahat ng mataba ay healthy.
Hindi lahat ng nakatitig sayo ay may gusto na sayo.
Hindi lahat ng singkit ay Chinese.
Hindi lahat ng naglalakad ng mabilis ay may tataguan.
Hindi lahat ng humihikab ay inaantok.
Hindi lahat ng umiinom ng milk tea ay feeling diet.
Hindi lahat ng sinisigawan ng boss ay palpak.
Hindi lahat ng nakabihis pamporma ay may pupuntahang maganda.
Hindi lahat ng magulo ang buhok ay bagong gising.
Hindi lahat ng nagpapautang ay mayaman.
Hindi lahat ng nagmamahal ay in-love.
Hindi lahat ng pangit magsulat ay doctor.
Hindi lahat ng may magandang boses ay gwapo sa personal.
Hindi lahat ng nag-sskip ng lunch ay on a diet na talaga.
Hindi lahat ng maganda pag nakatalikod ay maganda na rin pag nakaharap.

Starbucks Coffee

Kahit ako lamang ay isang simpleng mamamayan at isang tao na isang kahid isang tuka + maraming meryenda , kabilang ako sa mga kabataan na tumatangkilik sa pagbili ng kape sa "Starbucks" Copyright. O ayan nilagyan ko na ng quote. Baka ipakulong pa ko ni Sotto para sa *&!? na Cyber Crime law na yan.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ka naman bibili ng kape sa Starbucks sa halagang P100 ng dahil lang sa masarap ito diba? Minsan kasi dahil sa uso, at lalo na kapag artista na ang tumatangkilik dito, feel narin natin maki-jive sa agos ng trending ngayon. Pwede ka rin naman bumili ng 3-in-1 nalang na kape tapos gawin mong cold coffee sabay bili ng mainit na bonete sa bakery nyo sa kanto. Yan ang tunay na pinoy.

Pero teka lang, hindi ako anti sa mga sosyalera't sosyalero na kahit wala ng makain o kaya naman sakto lang ang allowance eh nagtatabi parin ng pang gastos para sa mga gintong frappe na ito. Ang sabi ko nga. ako'y simpleng tao lamang- nagmamahal din este nagsusulat lang pala. Tanaan na kung sino ang tamaan, basta ako wala akong binabato.

Naalala ko noong college. May accounting subject kami na hindi ko alam kung pano gagawin, pano ba naman kaliwa't kanan ko ay may Giraffe na sa bawat pagsulat ng ballpen ko ay nakaabang sila sa mga numero. Hindi talaga ako makapagfocus. Parang umiikot lang ang diwa ko at sa bawag pagsasalita ng aming guro, parang wala lang. Pati calculator ko noon, parang sinukuan narin ako.

Kaya naman nagisip ako ng paraan para makapag-concentrate.

Nagpunta nalang ako sa MOA dala ang eleganteng calculator ko, sandamak-mak na scratch papers, at columnar.

Saktong sakto at walang tao sa MOA. Hindi naman, OA. Medyo konti lang siguro sa kadahilanang holiday noon at kailangan ko lang talagang magreview. Doon ako tumambay sa may baywalk sa likod. Hindi pa masyado pansin ang Starbucks sakin noon, dahil in the first place ayoko magpakasosyal at lalong hindi ako mukang sosyal - in short hindi bagay sakin ang napaparoon sa mga ganung establishment.

Sa aking paglalakad nakaamoy ako ng kape, hindi lang basta kape, - amoy kapeng iniinom ni Angel Locsin. Kaya naman sinubukan kong pasukin (hindi  bilang magnanakaw) ang Starbucks para umorder ng ....wait, what? P150, P175, P200    Ano toh may libreng USB?!

*after 10 mins* *Sir, Can I take your order?"
me: Aaaah, miss yung pampagising nga.
Ms: Sir, You can try yung Decaf namin

Bottom line: Naka 3 orders ako ng venti decaf in a span of 5 hours of reviewing for my accounting finals.

It was worth it. Though the price is considerably that high for an average student like me before - look at the ambiance of the place, the smiles of each baristas, the couch, and of course the smell of the coffee beans surrounding the place.

Teka ba't napa-english ako. Tagalog dapat toh.

Balik tayo sa topic. Ang pagpunta sa starbucks at pag-order ng gintong este masarap na kape ay hindi lang simbolo ng pagpapaka"sosyal" o pagsunod sa uso. May mga pagkakaibigang nabubuo din sa loob nito. Relasyong napapagusapan at pamilyang nagdadamayan.

Hindi ka nagpapapicture ng may hawak kang kape ng starbucks - ng para lang ipamuka mo sa facebook na nakapunta ka dun. Ito ay litrato na naging satisfied ka sa binili mo, kahit alam kong ipinangutang mo lang yan para ma-impress mo ang girfriend mo.

Lahat tayo may kanya- kanyang karanasan dito - may kwela, may pang-tropa, may napadaan lang, o na curious ka lang kung anong lasa ng iniinom nila.

Pero hindi lahat nagtatapos sa simpleng higop ng masarap nilang choco frappe. May mga pagkakataon na hindi inaasahan, gaya ng ending ng istorya kong ito.

Tulad ng nasa litrato, yaan na ang pinakahuli na kasama ko ang pinakamamahal ko.

Boom!

Thank God It's Friday

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These past months has been a series of bitter sweet escapades and to tell you the truth, I was never contented on what's happening in and around me. Something is haunting me beyond imagination and I couldn't exactly visualize the moment it happened. The skies are getting darker and the rains are submerging the peace I had before. I am looking down on a person who used to be the angel in disguise. Now he's just a pathetic person trying to look good and forcing himself to carry the load of a heavenly man. 

I am looking for answers. No. I was looking for questions - the exact questions why is this even happening to me. Why the skies are so dark and the rains seems so disturbing?

It's Friday - and its' time to face the battle again, Who's and who isn't right in the first place.

Arg Notes #8: Pre-celebration Feelings of Catastrophe

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I'm nearly 24 years old and I didn't barely accomplished anything worth being proud of
as of now. I feel like a total bum, though I'm currently employed. My life has been left out. I have no real life. I have no excitements and adventures. Nothing to be proud of.

Majority of my friends are now succesful in their careers - earning nearly twice my salary. They're all happy and contented with what they have and enjoying the benefits of their careers - while I'm stuck here almost rotting out of illogical salary pay and inconsiderate co-employees.

The love of my life is now on the others side of my world and I can't even tell her how much I love her because she's been so trapped and confused on her self-made world. She's happy without me. It's not that I wasted 5 years of my life proving her how much she mean to me, but yes - I probably can conclude that after everything I've done for her - what I DID can't be compared to the JOY her friends is giving to her right now. I've now become a nuisance rather than a knight in shining armor. Everything has changed and after these past few months I really can't accept the fact that she saw me differently than what I've expected.

I keep asking myself why is this happening to me despite the sincerity and truthfulness I've showed her. After all those years I protected her and sacrificed everything just to save her from future shame and destruction - and now It's pointless. She doesn't know me enough to stay with me forever.

I lost my love for music. I've lost my inspiration. I'm consumed by regrets and loss of self-worth.
Yes this is me right now, totally opposite of what you expect from me.

Love Wisely

REGRETS

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Forgive me if my flow of thought is too distracting. It's actually so random I can't even make an outline on my head.

As I reminisce on everything that happened in the past, I still want to praise God He did'nt let me live a life of bondage. Yes, I do have regrets. I wasted too much time loving the wrong person. I spent years trying to make her someone closer to God's will. What have I done? I played God on our relationship and I assume control over her life. I failed. I only loved her - that's the hard part.

Love, the feeling, is the only thing binding me to be loyal and spend countless sacrifices to make her into someone I really like. I didn't love her just because she has a perfect face nor a perfect body. Yes, I liked that complement on her but it's not the reason why I've been attracted to her.

Promise. Most guys only want the outside, the outer part in which sin often cause men to stumble. But I'm different - honestly speaking.

It's year 2005. (Seriously). She's still in highschool and I'm a college freshman. I prayed to God asking for a partner - a lifetime partner. I need someone to be with my dreams, dreams of fulfilling what God wanted me to do. I'm not that perfect or someone blameless. I usually have the idiotic tendency of being corrupted by my other nature.However thank God, He owns me. I want to serve Him with my skills, my efforts, my everything, my life.

I saw her. Beyond the years that I casually knew her, this is the first time I saw her with something in my mind - Is she the one? Our personalities obviously don't intertwine. In short, we're different. I love goofing around, she don't. I like joking around, she hates it. I love socializing to other people, she don't. Even from the first years of our seamingly "love story", It's pretty obvious that we are different from each other.

Then time came, out of the blue, I texted her (kinda flirty moves a guy usually make) and then made our conversation more than of a friendly type.I courted her in an unusual way - the TEXT thing (Highschoolers and teenagers will get this). A few months after she finally decided to be my girlfriend or should I say maybe she went to the point na "nakulitan" na siya. Sweet text messages
till the end of the day. That's the cycle. However, though we were so inloved with each other, we were not allowed yet to enter into a relationship at that time. We had strict parents. To be honest, we broke that rule. We enjoyed late night textings, under the radar mall dates, and ofcourse monthsarry gifts like a normal couples do.

We spent our relationship being inlove with each other - and I mean it. I can honestly say that I have never been unfaithful to her ever since. She's my life. My plans, my life revolved around her. She had been the center of my life and I didn't care what others think about. It has been me and her the whole time.

That's it - the start of my 5 year long daydreaming. I've been so consumed of being "In-love". Why? We are different. I grew up in a church with Godly parents and therefore I've been raised to be a future leader - someone who has greater Eternal goals than a regular believer. I prioritized sunday so much that I hate (exaggerating) people who makes excuses for not going to church. I am a youth leader so my ministry is important to me. I feel failure everytime I can't handle it properly. Majority of my plans is based on what God wanted me to do - Help the church. That's me. I love God more than anyone - and even her. She's been the 2nd eversince and I can't make her my top priority over my Saviour. I can only love her wholeheartedly if I will also love my Saviour more than anyone. That's my conviction. God must be the center of our relationship - that's what I am trying to make her believe and obey.

I'm not saying that if you're different with each other, then you are not compatible. What I'm saying is, you should know your priorities. I believe that God must be the center of your relationship. The guy must obey God. The girl must obey God too. Both should have a relationship worthy of honoring God - and that would mean that both of them must PERSONALLY make an effort to please God in everything they do. If only 1 of them commits to honoring the Lord and the other 1 becomes a Christian traveling a different path ( a Christian who prioritize other things istead of Godly ones), then disaster awaits them. The triangle, Man - God - Woman, breaks the chain and the two will eventually have conflicts.

I said earlier that I prioritized fellowship and church gatherings. How does it feel to have a girfriend ( future lifetime partner) who seldom attend church gatherings? How does it feel to have a partner who prioritizes family trips over Sunday worship services? If my life is dedicated to serving the Lord, will it be ok if my lifetime partner isnt? Can I serve God, lead the church, and spent time with people I'll help to grow spiritually only by myself?

Tell me, where can I get a spiritual encouragement? Can I get that one from this kind of partner?
Our conflict eversince has been the same - priorities. I am used to it and I give up helping her establish
convictions. I wasted 5 years of my life trying to change a stubborn partner with a hardened heart. I'm sorry if I sound harsh and as if those 5 years meant nothing to me.

Believe me, I love her from the start and until now but I need to make a decision - a decision that will either break my future or my heart. I'd rather break my heart than compromise the stability of my future. As of now, though she's outwardly perfect for me, I humbly say she's immature for me. We have different convictions and therefore fight a lot. She's not the type of partner who will go through hell just to be with you. She can't even spend time with me in the ministry. She can't even
encourage me spiritualy! I wasted time with her nagging and damn excuses.

I am a spiritual leader, a kuya, a person who someday want to be a spiritual "hero" of my disciples. I am sorry to say but I can't be that person with that kind of partner. For years, she's been telling me not to "control" her decision making. Let her be the person she wants to be. Let her decide and have alternate options.

We fought over our decision making, especially hers. We have a different point of view. I have Biblical truths, she has man-made reasonings. We don't have the same perspective. We decide differently. I have convictions, she has earthly compromises. I gave up that day and let her decide who will her follow - me or her earthly reasonings. She must submit to me and have to realize as a spiritual partner that I am more capable of handling her growth and maturity.

She decided not to submit. Well, ofcourse, our years of relationship is spent on a tug-o-war cycle. I looked like a police arresting her everytime she has an immature decision. I became more of a guardian than a lover. I became her own prision cell that limits her earthly enjoyments. I believe her love is not that deep to understand my love for her.

She doesn't know the real me. If only, she will regret what she did. It depends on your priorities. You won't understand me unless we have the same conviction. I'm sure of that.

I did my best to show my love for her and make her feel I'm the prince charming she's been waiting for. 5 years. The cycle has been the same. Showing of true love and waiting for her to change.
It's been almost 4 months. I am enjoying my freedom and yet living in regrets. I didn't mean to rule over life or in any of her decision making. What I'm saying is, we must have the same expectations in life, same goals, same priorities - and that became our problem. Your eternal goals in life shouldn't be mixed with earthly priorities or else your life would be a disaster.

My heart is focused on serving the Lord and I need a girl with the same heart as mine. Whatever she did to me, that's fine. I still love her beyond reasons. However, I need to make a decision to cut of this unworthy and disappointing relationship in order for me to grow spiritually and emotionally.

What This Blog is All About

081312

What This Blog is All About

Let's speak about the truth. My English vocabulary sucks
and my word bank is too bankrupt to express my
experiences in detail. *Tableflip* -But Yes, I still want
to live in this planet.

I am writing blog posts not because I want to gain
followers or "likes". This is the place where I can pour
out my unexpressed feelings. Oh yeah, this place is
getting cheesier than expected. People see me according
to what are they expecting of me - what they want me to
do or even their expectations of who I should be. I am
not grumbling or whatever. I love my work, especially
God's work - and that's my chosen priorities in life that
makes me complete and in tact with joy. In my blog, I
will define myself. I will fill my life's description
with adjectives that no other people can describe of me -
and it's because only me knew the real me.  I will write
whatever topic I want - My experiences, day to day life,
grudges, and expectations in life.

Don't be confused. This is not giberish. It's only English.

TO THE PERSON WHO WILL TRY TO READ MY BLOGPOST:
Beware. The words you'll be reading are meant to
encourage you and not to discourage you.
Everything will be about my experiences in life.

I want to see the real me in a form of writing

Arg Notes #7:Gibberish Moments of Truth

Fullfillment.
July 10,2012
2:29

I'm tired in every area of my life. I should live a life of obedience and thanksgiving. I asked for a girl, He gave me one. I asked for a job, He gave me one. But behind my most unexplainable reasons, I wasn't that fulfilled with what am I experiencing right now. I feel exhausted and short of motivation. People around me are decaying my sense of passion and limits the potential in me. There are pressures in life that makes me feel inferior and of no use. I earn, and yet feel empty. I don't need money. I need acceptance and encouragements. I've been deceived by the mere smiles of the people around me. Seems that the earth is rotating much faster than I thought and I've not been coping up with the changes of this world. People used to seek me for help. They asks for my prayers, my opinions, my voice, and my help. However, things changed. I don't know. Maybe, I'm not that judgemental or people are now changed nowadays. They don't need me anymore and I feel like a complete idiot trying to push myself to their lives. I've been taken for granted-considering my consistency of unconditional service for their growth. That's the problem these days. With all your efforts and love , people will always take you for granted. "That's your obligation". "You're supposed to do that". "You're expected to do that". Literally, the phrases jamming my head.

So random. Forgive me for the weird flow of thoughts.

Arg Notes #6: My Sassy Girl

Arg Notes #6: My Sassy Girl

July 4,2012

Familiar date isn't it?

Don't mind. It's all over now. Reminiscing would just be a disastrous idea. However, I would'nt put everything into trash - especially those memorable moments that made me stronger and inspired to love even more. My life is being shaped by an all-knowing and gracious God, supportive parents, and an inspiration from the only person that thought me to love truly - without her knowing. I dedicate this article to all those nearly 72 months we've shared together. The laughter. The tears. The breaking up and the getting back. EVery moments are important. It taught me to live life.

To the next person who will have her heart,

Keep this in mind.

• She is simple. Forget your first impression on her - the height, the pretty face, the perfect body. Yes, she's all that. However, the main thing about her and the first thing you should accept about her is that she's a simple person. That would mean, you can make her smile by doing "simple" efforts. Take her somewhere else without over spending- yes, she would enjoy that (just be sensitive about her likes and dislikes). She dresses simply on most occasions- but don't be too shocked when she unleashes her true fashionista side, she's has a better fashion statement than most of the women who pretends to have a celebrity sense of style. 

• Break her heart and I will break your face.

• When ordering chicken at McDonalds, Don't ever ask for a breast part. She doesn't like hard to chew parts. Order wings or thigh part Instead. Another thing, ask for salt instead of ketchup. No matter how I love dipping my crispy french fries on a tomato ketchup, salt will always be her number one choice. Lastly, make sure you have everything you need before going back to the table and after ordering. That would mean that the spoon and forks and straw is already placed on your tray. Or else, expext her viciously looking, still-cute look of her eyes. 

• She prefer Iced Tea more than SoftDrinks. She always bring a bottled water. Make sure you have one too incase of her shortage. Warm water would too, she's not that picky.

• Holding hands: 

1.  On your first (months) of relationship, don't be too aggressive especially on holding her hands on the public. She's the type of girl who doesn't really prefer public display of affection but still wants you to make her feel loved, cared, and being protected.

      2.  HOLD HER HANDS WHILE CROSSING THE STREET.

• Text her " I love you" ramdomly throughout the day. She will reply with a smiley face, "mwuah", or an "I love you too". 

• Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder (OCPD). She likes cleaning the house. She love putting things in order. She has that kind of perfectionism in terms of cleaning. So better ready yourself getting fit to work - cleaning. I help her one time in cleaning our church chapel, after that day I was sick and unable to work. She has the perfect body and motivation - for cleaning. That's one thing I admire about her. 

To be continued...

Arg Notes #5: The Agony of Too Less Stress

Daily Journal

July 3, 2012

Do you know the problem about life? It's when you don't know what you want- or even whom you want to be. Expectations defines our daily life and it seldom reflects our reality and who we really are. The blind decisions of your heart suffocates your every move and now we're living with our scars-trampled life.

Enough for this emo sidetrack.

Today was a gloomy day, yet I can't consider it a bad day. Why? Here's one of my favorite reasons.

Point 1: Our boss is absent today and the theory of cause-and-effect states that "If there's something occuring whether it's for a bad or good cause, there will be an opposite reaction". Good thing for our department. His absence totally caused a stressed-free environment.

Point 2: No Sales/Cost Study Request. If there's anything that makes my life miserable, that would be a tons of reports + an additional sarcasm from my co-workers (setting aside the new ones). This day is a procrastination day. 

Cheers anyone? :)

Point 3: It was a gloomy day- but due to a cold and rainy weather. It seems that I would have to complement this one. Todays weather makes me sleepy, relaxed, and even long for our 5pm out even more.

Point 4: If you would just look around you, you can see the aura of every managers and pretending-to-be-working employees. This makes me smile. Don't be so hard on your job.Relax and soothe yourself. This one plus the cold temperature around here, mmm, definitely a relaxing way to earn your salary.

I was quite shocked to see the clock and it's only 8:15am when It seems I've been waiting for an eternity for our long awaited 10am lunch break. It was an agony, but it leaves me no choice but to patiently wait.

Now, it's 11:04am. The next candy bar would be our 12-1pm lunchbreak sleeping time. Wuhoo!

Do’s and Don’ts sa pags-Speak sa Devotion

1. Wag basahin ang notes, magsalita ka ng nakatingin sa mga audience.

2. Magmemorize ng verses na kasama sa topic mo. 

    Para recite nalang from memory at less time pa sa pag-open ng bible.

3. Magpractice magsalita sa bahay! Para hindi utal pagdating sa totoong devotion na.

4. Outline! Para may summary ka o buod ng buong message.

5. Isipin mo na ang mga sasabihin mo sa bahay palang, para ready ka na

6. Relax lang sa pagsasalita, wag kabado, baka ibang words ang masabi mo(or worse ma-blanko ka)

7. Gestures, wag tuod magsalita.(galaw galaw naman para makuha ang atensyon ng audience)

8. Magpray ka personaly bago magspeak. Lagot ka kapag hindi.

9. Magtanong ka sa nkakatanda kapag may Hindi ka maintindihan.
   (Huwag gumawa ng sariling opinion lalo   na't hindi akma sa Bible

10. Time limit. Be sensitive sa time! Baka mapahaba ang pagsasalita.
      (Dapat 30mins lang ang limit natin)

11. Tono ng boses mo- baka nakakaantok na

12. Habang nagsasalita ka, tingnan mo ang mga expressions ng audience or kung nakikinig pa sila.

13. If you did it heartily, You did great. Any other comments and suggestions ay makakatulong din.

14. Repetitive words, "ah" "uhm" "so" "ah." Be careful sa paulit-ulit.

15. Tamang pagtawag:  "Ang Lord" hindi "Si Lord"

16. Wag mabilis magsalita, make sure naiintindihan ka ng audience mo.
       Wag naman sobrang bagal, at baka magdrawing nalang sila sa inip.

17. Wag kang lumayo sa topic, baka may mga sinasabi ka na 

      or explanations na hindi naman related sa topic

18. Before the message, isipin mo na kung ano ang pinaka main message na gusto mo i-point out sa audience and make sure dun ka magfocuse sa whole message mo.

19. Ang pagpprepare ng message ay hindi saglitan lang, hindi applicable ang cramming sa atin. Kailangan natin ng gabay ng HS kahit sa ating pagpprepare palang. Take time to pray, read ur notes/outline na paulit ulit pra makita ang mga dpat baguhin o idagdag na punto

20. Ikaw lamang ang magsasalita, pero nasa Diyos parin ang papuri. Kaya do your best.




By: kuya josh

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: Dealing With Strongholds

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: Dealing With Strongholds

I. Introduction

Romans 13:12 The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light.

May isang "digmaan" o pakikipagbaka ang nangyayari sa ating buhay Kristiyano. Ito ang liwanag at ang kadiliman. Ang impluwensya ng Diyos at impluwensya ng kaaway

2 Samuel 22:1-2 Then David spoke to the LORD the words of this song, on the
day when the LORD had delivered him from the hand of all his enemies, and
from the hand of Saul. And he said: "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my
deliverer;

Kahit tinatawag ang kaaway bilang "hari" ng sanlibutan, ang Diyos parin ang ating tagumpay at tanging tulong sa ating buhay.

2 Corinthians 10:4-6 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.

Sa ating pamumuhay, kailangan nating ng lakas na nagmumula sa Diyos at kakayanan para malabanan ang impluwensya ng kaaway sa ating buhay.

II. What are strongholds? 

1. Old Testament example:

     1 Samuel 23:14,19 – Physical Stature (Proteksyon laban sa kalaban)

     Ang “Stronghold” ay parang source ng protection/depensa din natin laban sa kalaban o masasamang     impluwensya at mga evil gaya ng nangyari kay David. Ito ang isang magandang definition ng stronghold. Maari natin sabihin na ang diyos ang ating tagapagligtas at mainam na proteksyon mula sa ating mga kaaway.

2. The Apostle Paul's Definition of a Stronghold. 

Ito ay kahit anong bagay na nagiging mas “higit” pa sa Diyos na iyong hinahawakan o itinatago sa iyong buhay. Ito rin ang nagiging rason para sa kaaway para impluwensyahan ka ng hindi mo napapansin. Ang mga “Strongholds” ay nagmula sa kaaway at maaaring sanhi ng ating pagka-“lamig” sa ating buhay Kristiyano kapag hinayaan natin ito sa ating buhay

       2 Corinthians 10:5- Kapag nagiging mas “Marunong” ka pa sa mga sinasabi ng Lord

3. Another Definition.

-a MINDSET(maling mindset) kung saan na-iimpluwensyahan tayo na isipin at tanggapin ang mga bagay na labag o hindi WILL OF GOD

Romans 6:6 –“that we should no longer be slaves of sin.”

-Minsan pinaparamdam sa atin ng kaaway na wala talaga tayong pag-asa na makawala sa anumang kasalanan na ginagawa natin. Pinaparamdam sa atin na mag-“GIVE- IN” nalang sa temptation dahil hirap naman tayo huminde sa kasalanan.

NO. Ang sabi sa verse ay ang “old” na “tayo” ay na-“crucify” na para tayo ay hindi na maging slaves ng kasalanan.

Ang strongholds ay hindi lang basta KASALANAN, o mga NAIISIP nating mali, ITO DIN AY MGA AREA NG BUHAY NATIN NA TAYO AY TILA NAKA-BONDAGE AT HIRAP NA MAKAWALA.

III. How Strongholds Take Root. (Pano nag-sisimula na magkaron ang “kaaway” na “hawak” sa ating buhay) 

1. Strongholds Come From Worldly Influence. 

    1 John 5:19- impluwensya ng kamunduhan,( tv, non-c friends, barkada etc)

KAYA SINASABI NG BIBLE NA DAPAT ANG MINDS NATIN LAGING MAGING “RENEWED” – from praying, bible study, CHURCH

-ito ang tutulong sa atin para malabanan ang impluwensya ng MUNDO

IV. Common Strongholds Many Deal With. 

REMINDER: Kahit KRISTIYANO ka na, maari parin ang kaaway na magkaron ng hawak sa iyong buhay. Ito ang mga bagay na alam nating MALI, pero pinahihintulutan parin nating sa ating buhay Kristiyano

(PAGISIPAN MO, MERON KA BA NITO SA IYONG BUHAY?)

Fear - takot
Resentment- hinagpis
Bitterness- bitterness sa ibang tao
Unforgiveness- hirap kang patawarin or ayaw mo patawarin
Apathy- kawalang-pagpapahalaga
Unbelief- ayaw mo maniwala sa isang bagay na TAMA
Depression- sobrang pagkapagod na tipong ayaw mo na, wala ng motivation
Anxiety- SOBRANG PAGAALALA
Lukewarmness- pagiging INCONSISTENT NA KRISTIYANO,
                            Minsan on-fire, minsan hindi. ON-OFF ang Christian life

Sinful thoughts – nag-iisip o nagbabalak ka palaging gumawa ng kasalanan
Lust – PAGNANAIS NA SEXUAL
Pride – PAGMAMATAAS, FEELING MO LAGI KANG TAMA 

             AT AYAW MAG- OBEY SA NAKAKATANDA
Greed – Pagiging GAHAMAN. PERA, KASIKATAN, ETC
Drugs – WAG NAMAN SANA. Extreme case na yan
Pornography – ALAM NA NG MGA BOYS YAN. ITIGIL NA DAPAT.

V. Faith Principles For Pulling Down Strongholds.

 (Paano ba natin mapagtatagumpayan ang mga "Strongholds" na ito?)

    2 Corinthians 10:4-5 

1. We Bring Our Thoughts Into Captivity To Christ's. (Tumingin ka sa Diyos, Tanggapin mo na hindi lang siya ang “Savior” mo, kundi siya din ang “LORD” mo. Ibig sabihin siya ang may hawak sayo, nagbabantay, at nagaaruga. Kaya ka niyang tulungan sa anumang pinagdadaanan mo.

2. Obedience Brings Us Into the Stronghold Of Christ's Likeness.

   (PAGSUNOD SA MGA UTOS NG LORD)

   Romans 8:28-29 - kahit anong pinagdadaanan mo ngayon, kaya yang awing “blessing” ng Lord, kung    ikaw ay susunod sa kanya. Mapagtatagumpayan mo yan, kung makikinig ka sa TAMA.

James 4:7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 

Gaya ng sabi sa verse, kailangan mo muna mag “submit” sa Lord / sumunod sa kanya, bago mo mapagtatagumpayan ang kaaway. Never na mangyayari na magiging victorious ka without the help ng ating Lord. Nasa kanya ang tagumpay, wala sa EFFORTS mo. You just have to SURRENDER SA WILL NG LORD.

3. Building A Stronghold Of Christlikeness Involves A Struggle.

Ang proseso ng pagiging MALAYA sa mga stronghold ng kaaway ay laging may “STRUGGLE”. Hindi ito overnight na magiging victorious ka kagad. Kailangan mo ng CHANGE OF HEART, OBEDIENCE, AT PAGIGING CONSISISTENT SA LORD bago mo matalo yang pinagdadaanan mo. – kaya nga tinatawag na “STRUGGLE”

1 Peter 5:9 – RESIST HIM “THE DEVIL” – Meaning dapat may EFFORTS ka para makawala. Efforts na pagsunod at paglapit sa Diyos.

Habang mas lumalapit tayo kay Kristo, mas tumitindi ang tukso, kaya dapat maging matatag pa tayong Kristiyano upang maiwasan natin ang kanyang mga bitag.

This is a Tagalized summary version of Pastor Ken Birks 's Devotional: "Dealing with Strongholds".

All of the contents from these devotional shall be used as a devotional topic for our Junior Youth Fellowship.

Thanks,

Josh

Arg Notes #4

July 2, 2012 Monday
Daily Journal

It's been months since the disaster. My life has now been ran by series of
unfortunate events. Laughter is not my medicine anymore - but stress and a tired whole
being. I just can't believe why did I dedicated and comiitted my heart to a single
person for an almost 6 unfruitful years. Worse than that, beyond the scars and the
bitterness, I am very sure of myself that this person would still be, or should I say, is
still the one who owns my heart.

Never in our 5 years of relationship that I broke from our commitment.
She's always been the one, the most beautiful, the perfect woman
I've been praying from the Lord, my best friend, and the only person who really knew the real me.

But we have our separate worlds now. Different goals in life, priorities, and dreams. Seems to be that maybye, correct me if i'm wrong, that the only thing that binds our relationship from the past is a blind love. That's explains the immaturity that gaps me from her and the big wall of priorities that separates our goals in life. No matter what our differences is, I still love her.

I'm still waiting for a miracle. Not for her to realize that I'm the best person for
her(Pride aside), but her growing up on the Lord and maturing in her Christian growth.
Sure, distance can seperate us. I can live with that. Seeing her happy with her
seems-to-be good influence friends and contented with what she is experiencing now.
I am happy for her, honestly.

Soon and I'll be soon deciding whom to trust and whom to obey.
My heart or my mind.Whether to get rid any remembrance or keep it just to have an .03% encouragement inspiration and yet prolong the agony with each resemblance of our broken relationship.
My commitment to her is beyond words. However, I should live a life and still focus on what God wants me to do- even without her. Even if this would hurt me a lifetime, I should continue the life God wants me to have. I have to live life to the fullest.

I am hoping for a miracle, before it's too late.

God is still in control and will always be.

Junior Youth Fellowship Topic Outlines 2012

Jr. Youth Fellowship Devotional Speakers:
Joshua Nalian
Jeric Terrado
Joshua Tienzo
Timothy
Rodelson Cua
Schedule: TBA                                    


Christian Life Messages 
(1) Abiding in Christ
(2) Dealing With Strongholds
(3) Overcoming in life's Disappointments & Difficulties
(4) Abundant Living - Vital Keys to Spiritual Fullness
(5) Living Stress Free in Today's World
(6) Overcoming The Rejection Syndrome
(6a) The Dynamics of Biblical Change
(7) Join Heirs With Christ - Our Spritual Inheritance
(8) Looking to God - God Centered Living
(9) Looking To God - Doing Things God's Way
(10) Rediscovering Your Passion
(11) Knowing Your Position in God
(12) Kingdom Realities

Characteristics of True Christianity 
(13) Characteristics That Define Our Transformation
(14) Characteristics That Define Who We Are
(15) Characteristics That Define Our Actions
(16)Characteristics That Define Our Victory

Being an Overcomer in Today's World 
(17)Certainty in an Uncertain World
(18)Being a Christian in a Non-Christian World
(19)Contending With Changing Values
(20)Living According to God's Promises

Faith Building Messages 
(21)Believing God For the Impossible
(22)Overcoming Life's Difficulties - Where is your Faith?
(23)The Communication of our Faith
(24)Victory Through Praise

Faith Works By Love
(25)Faith Comes in "Cans"
(26)Faith For Every Day Living
(27)Dare to Believe
(28)Becoming A Champion - Champion's Creed Pt.1
(29)Becoming A Champion - Champion's Creed Pt.2

Seven Major Keys to Great Faith 
(30)Faith and Determination
(31)Building Faith Muscles
(32)Faith's Confession - I Believed, Therefore I Spoke
(33)Sowing and Reaping Principles
(34)The Covenant of Healing

Spiritual Warfare Messages 
(35)Dealing with Strongholds
(36)The Weapon of Truth
(37)Understanding & Knowing Our Enemy
(38)What Kind of an Armor Bearer Are You
(39)Making a Determined Effort
(40)Taking Authority Over the Enemy
(41)Armed and Ready

Christian Essentials 
(42)Faith, Hope & Love
(43)Learning How to Trust the Lord - 6/16/2012 Josh
(44)Humility Before the Lord
(45)Humility as Way of Life
(46)The Joy of Forgiveness
(47)Forgiveness Thru Conviction, Confession & Repentance

Prayer Messages
(48)Power of Prayer 1 - Preparing Our Hearts
(49)Power of Prayer 2 - Praying According to God's Will
(50)Effective Prayer

The Parables of Jesus 
(51)The Prodigal Son
(52)The Parable of the Sower
(53)The Parable of the Rich Man & Lazarus
(54)The Vine and the Branches
(55)The Unjust Steward

Breaking Free Series 
(56)Healing For the Wounded Spirit
(57)Clearing the Clutter of the Past
(58) Responding to Life's Hardships
(59)Finding Joy in the Midst of Life's Struggles
(60)Breaking Free From the Victim Mentality

The Beauty of God's Grace Series 
(61)How to Avoid the Performance Trap
(62)God's Grace in Holiness & Sanctification
(63)Grace is Freedom & Liberty in Christ
(64)Appropriating God's Grace

Vision, Purpose & Destiny Messages 
(65)Keeping Your Vision Fresh & Alive
(66)Making the Most of Your Life

Word & Spirit - Partners in Purpose 
(67)Conscecrated unto God's Purpose
(68)Fulfilling Your Vision - What's Holding Your Back
(69)Discovering & Capturing Your Destiny
(70)Getting Into God's Playbook

Dealing With The Sin in Our Lives 
(71)Why Christians Sin
(72)The Consequences of Sin - Pt 1
(73)The Consequences of Sin - Pt 2
(74)Applying The Blood to Our Sins

Character Building Messages 
(75)Lessons from the Beatitudes
(76)Making a Determined Effort
(77)The Path of Life - Conflicting Paths
(78)The Power of Obedience
(79)Staying in the Race



Thanks to Pastor Ken Birks for the resources.

Arg Notes #3: "Iisang Bugso"

After 10 thousand years, I'll try poetry again.
This dedicated to my one and only.

"Iisang Bugso"

Sa bawat pag gising sa umaga
hinahanap hanap na kita
Ninanais na makasama
makapiling aking sinta

Isang sulyap lang sana
ang araw ko ay buo na
Pero ba't hindi kita makita
Ikaw at ang pagibig mo
Tila malabo na

Di ko sadyang manais
Kung bakit humantong sa ganito
Ang langit ay nagdadalamhati
sa pagibig nating nabigo

Wari sanay maibalik
ang dating bugso ng damdamin
Pagka't Iisa ka lamang,
wala ng ibang hahanapin

Arg Notes #1:Life is a One Big Troll

Tiring Thursday
Daily Journal
062112 4:45pm

I just came to the point where I realize that knowledge
is indeed a very important part of a man's lifestyle.
I'm growing old and time is slowly drifting across my
reach. I have plans - plans to prosper and meet my
goals in life. To where should I start? At this point
of my life, I could'nt harldy see a successful person
in me. I've been working as a professional for 6 months
now and all I've gained are priceless words of wisdom

from my boss and a handful of working experience as a
business planning engineer.

Dreams are just dreams if they are not planned to
reached. However, they can be a goal in life wherein
one must be focused enough to meet it and embrace the
glory of success.

And about marriage.

Next topic.

I'm 24 years old now and majority of my batchmates are
now either earning salaries twice of mine or enjoying
the life of a newly-wed.

Seriously?

I don't even have the opportunity of experiencing this luxury.
I get up as early as 4am. Arrive at 7pm. Sleep. Pee.
Repeat. I'm tired of this.

Why? (raise to the Nth)


Realization:
If you want to be somebody, exert effort to improve yourself


You will never be what you want to be if you will remain where you are.

Compiled Encouraging Posts from Tumblr

Posts from my Tumblr Account: thepeasmaker.tumblr.com

When Jesus said "Love them like I loved them", He didn't mean just those who fit into our idea of lovable. He meant those who are broken. Those who are scarred. Those who no one else will touch. Jesus meant love them all. We don't get to pick and choose. http://jesusiswhatthisworldneeds.tumblr.com

Ladies, wait for a good, strong, Christ following man who will protect and encourage you; don't settle for just some boy. Guys, wait for a woman with a pure heart and honest passion for God who will build you up; don't settle for just some girl.http://heisincontrol.tumblr.com

Jesus is not my boyfriend.
I’m sorry but I just don’t like the phrase, “Jesus is my boyfriend.” Just no.http://godmoves.tumblr.com/

Praise God even when you dont understand what He's doing.

We have to realize—our mistakes aren’t that powerful. Our mistakes aren’t too big for God. He’s not up in the heavens shaking His head saying, “I never dreamed they would do that. They’ve ruined My plan.” No, God knew every mistake we would ever make. He knew every wrong turn, and He’s already prepared a new route. He already has your detour figured out.

Scripture says that God knows the end from the beginning. If you’ve made some mistakes, the good news is that He has already planned a way to get you back on track! Just come to Him with an open and humble heart. Let Him wash you clean and make you new. Your mistakes aren’t bigger than God. He loves you and has a good plan in store for you! http://spiritualinspiration.tumblr.com 

You matter to me, to your friends, to your family. Don’t ever feel like you’re worth nothing because you are so much more. You are not the mistakes you’ve made. Learn to forgive yourself, because God forgives you. Accept His love and grace, strive to be a better person.  http://ayoxannna.tumblr.com

14 More Wonderful Words With No English Equivalent

Original article by: Haley

Earlier this year, Bill DeMain introduced us to 15 Wonderful Words With No English Equivalent. Now that you’ve integrated those into your vocabulary, here are 14 more.

1. Shemomedjamo (Georgian)

You know when you’re really full, but your meal is just so delicious, you can’t stop eating it? The Georgians feel your pain. This word means, “I accidentally ate the whole thing.”

2. Pelinti (Buli, Ghana)

Your friend bites into a piece of piping hot pizza, then opens his mouth and sort of tilts his head around while making an “aaaarrrahh” noise. The Ghanaians have a word for that. More specifically, it means “to move hot food around in your mouth.”

3. Layogenic (Tagalog)  <- Proud to be PINOY!

Remember in Clueless when Cher describes someone as “a full-on Monet…from far away, it’s OK, but up close it’s a big old mess”? That’s exactly what this word means.

4. Rhwe (Tsonga, South Africa)

College kids, relax. There’s actually a word for “to sleep on the floor without a mat, while drunk and naked.”

5. Zeg (Georgian)

It means “the day after tomorrow.” Seriously, why don’t we have a word for that in English?

6. Pålegg (Norweigian)

Sandwich Artists unite! The Norwegians have a non-specific descriptor for anything – ham, cheese, jam, Nutella, mustard, herring, pickles, Doritos, you name it – you might consider putting into a sandwich.

7. Lagom (Swedish)

Maybe Goldilocks was Swedish? This slippery little word is hard to define, but means something like, “Not too much, and not too little, but juuuuust right.”

8. Tartle (Scots)

The nearly onomatopoeic word for that panicky hesitation just before you have to introduce someone whose name you can’t quite remember.

9. Koi No Yokan (Japanese)

The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall into love.

10. Mamihlapinatapai (Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego)

This word captures that special look shared between two people, when both are wishing that the other would do something that they both want, but neither want to do.

11. Fremdschämen (German); Myötähäpeä (Finnish)

The kindler, gentler cousins of Schadenfreude, both these words mean something akin to “vicarious embarrassment.” Or, in other words, that-feeling-you-get-when-you-watch-Meet the Parents.

12. Cafune (Brazilian Portuguese)

Leave it to the Brazilians to come up with a word for “tenderly running your fingers through your lover’s hair.”

13. Greng-jai (Thai)

That feeling you get when you don’t want someone to do something for you because it would be a pain for them.

14. Kaelling (Danish)

You know that woman who stands on her doorstep (or in line at the supermarket, or at the park, or in a restaurant) cursing at her children? The Danes know her, too.

Read the full text here: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/102722#ixzz1uzPINP00

OBAMA's support for... what?!

May 11, 2012

YAHOO NEWS: Gay marriage, Obama and the fierce urgency of now: Why did he do it this week?

Even now, during the closing months of his first term, Barack Obama remains a curiously elusive political leader. That is why the abrupt conclusion to his evolution on gay marriage, announced Wednesday in an interview with ABC’s Robin Roberts, is one of the most fascinating moments in his presidency. Glib theories about Obama’s often-cautious approach to the presidency, especially in an election year, have to be revamped in light of his sudden endorsement of gay marriage.
There is a temptation to view the turnabout solely in electoral terms. Obama himself said that the politics of same-sex marriage “may hurt me.” But perhaps the president made the calculation that he was willing to risk the loss of a fraction of socially conservative swing voters in states like Ohio in order to guarantee the enthusiasm of his top fundraisers. (A Washington Post analysis found that almost 20 percent of Obama’s bundlers have publicly revealed that they are gay). Maybe there is even private Obama polling indicating that November turnout among voters in the millennial generation is apt to be higher if the president took a firm position on gay marriage. 


"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money" 
Matthew 6:24

Like what the verse says, you cannot serve two masters. No matter how devoted you are to

your God, but if you will intend to have an extra "master", sorry to say but your doomed to fail. Let's just say that for 40 years of your life, you've been dedicated to serve God - then all of the sudden you came to politics, surrounded by people who had different perspectives in life (compared to Christians), money making policies, and corruption in whom we know came from one of the branch root of evil - money.

And boom! Now here's the test of integrity. You came to a point in your career where you have to make a choice, a stand where people will judge you based on the decisions you've made, not in the past, but in the present where your career is taking its place. All of the sudden, all of your presidential decrees bases on Godly foundations, your motivational, and inspiring speeches were all put to the trash bin just because of one illogical, unexpected, highly illogical decision- a support for gay marriage.


Seriously? Did God created 3 people in the first week of creation? If I'm not mistaken, It's only Adam and Eve. 

This is my opinion on why He made a Christianly Illogical wrong decision like this:

1. Additional Votes

2. Gay Pro's Support

3. Majority's Support

I guess true faith these days is very hard to find, especially on a President whose re-election is turning upside-down because of his half-heartedness.

Where's your integrity? Or should I say, Where's your Christian Integrity

A Christian is a person who adheres to Christianity, an Abrahamic, monotheisticreligion based on the life and teachings of Jesus of Nazareth as recorded in the Canonical gospels and the letters of the New Testament. "Christian" derives from theKoine Greek word Christ, a translation of the Biblical Hebrew term Messiah.

Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness oraccuracy of one's actions. Integrity can be regarded as the opposite of hypocrisy,[1] in that it regards internal consistency as a virtue, and suggests that parties holding apparently conflicting values should account for the discrepancy or alter their beliefs.
Source: Wikipedia

We are Christians and we should have integrity. We should be consistent on our actions on our daily lives. We are living for the glory of our master, not for ourselves. Our methods in life, our principles in which we abide, our values we protect, should all be focused on the glory of our only master Jesus Christ. If you happen to serve two masters, then don't expect blessings.

TBH: I DON'T EXPECT OBAMA TO WIN THIS COMING ELECTION.*
*God's will be done

Source: Obama for Gay Marriage
New International Version (©1984)