It's been nine months. Bitter months. I started this - I have to end this. It's a war between me and myself. My goals and disappointments seems to be raging me into a battle I was never meant to win.
Look at her. She's happy. Contented with the world she chose. I really underestimated the power of Satan for bringing backsliders into the fake oasis of life. I knew the reality, but I was here lurking in the shadows of my mess. What on earth God is trying to prove to me?! -that He is in control. For years I was been on a tug-of-war against my parents, trying to prove how much I love that person. I even resisted the voice in me telling she was the one! My heart remained loyal to her even when grief is too much to bare.
Yet, I was really disappointed - to the fact that I was now afraid of giving out my best for a person deserving my whole heart. You can love her with your whole heart, be faithful, and even take your efforts farther than the stars - but in the end, she'll just TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED.
Look at her. She's happy. Contented with the world she chose. I really underestimated the power of Satan for bringing backsliders into the fake oasis of life. I knew the reality, but I was here lurking in the shadows of my mess. What on earth God is trying to prove to me?! -that He is in control. For years I was been on a tug-of-war against my parents, trying to prove how much I love that person. I even resisted the voice in me telling she was the one! My heart remained loyal to her even when grief is too much to bare.
Yet, I was really disappointed - to the fact that I was now afraid of giving out my best for a person deserving my whole heart. You can love her with your whole heart, be faithful, and even take your efforts farther than the stars - but in the end, she'll just TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED.
No comments:
Post a Comment
What do you think?